But Wait, What About Acting?

For now, I have decided several things about being a professional actress:

1. It's a lot different as an adult than as a kid
• When Mom and Dad aren't footing the bills for travel to and from the city, it gets really expensive really fast.
• When I was a kid, the money I got from booking jobs was put towards my car and clothes and college stuff. I didn't need it. As an adult, I was depending on booking those jobs for any source of income.
2. It is very hard to do without an agent. 
• Getting an agent is just as hard as everyone says it is. Even agents that I already worked with as a kid.
• You can't get an audition for TV and film without an agent.
• Equity open calls are more often than not a huge waste of time and money.
3. I am considered very overweight for my character type and the overall look that. The industry is mostly based on looks, not talent.
4. Even getting an agent and booking a job doesn't mean that it will happen again. 

So, with all of that said, I was tired of constantly being broke, having to work early mornings and weekends and not being able to see my friends who worked normal schedules, spending most of my weekdays sitting around doing nothing, and not being able to do community theater shows that I really wanted to do and with people I wanted to do shows with. It just wasn't worth it, and I didn't feel the same way about it as I did when I was younger. I decided that to me, it was more important for AJ and I to be able to live comfortably, and for acting to go back to being something that I enjoyed doing (and got to do at all).

Since December I've been in rehearsals for The Miracle Worker (we open this Friday) and then I'm starting rehearsals this month for Olympus on my Mind, which I'm not only doing with AJ, but with a cast that includes some of our best friends.  And because I'm not just sitting around bored all day and eating, I've lost weight. And people have noticed. With the prospect of a career and steady, decent paychecks, thinking about the future isn't stressful. Things like having a wedding and buying a house and having kids don't seem so unrealistic.

And these past few months, I've been happy. Unbelievably happy. That's how I know I've made the right decision; I haven't once regretted it.